Things I Was Told As A Child But Now Know Are Lies

 

Being a small child can be a wonderful thing, anything and everything can spark an adventure and joy could be found in the smallest of things.

If I wasn't out in the garden playing with mud and snails I was in my room making up some story while I played with my toys. As children we tend to push the limits of everything including our poor exhausted parents.

 

 

The first thing I remember was when I attempted to drink the blackcurrant squash out of it's container without adding water to it first. Mum told me if I drank the blackcurrant quash pure that it would turn my wee blue. With kids you will either get: "WOW Mummy, I want to have blue wee!" or "(bursts into tears) I Don't want blue wee Mummy!". Me being me cried and didn't attempt it again. of course looking back on it Mum was just trying to stop we drinking something overly sugary and being sick.

 

 

This one is probably the one you have all heard of, my Mum told me that if I "kept picking my nose my brain would fall out through my nose". Also it's not great timing when you learn about the ancient Egyptians and how they retrieved the brains of the dead before burial. Scared for life!

 

 

"If you eat your crusts it will give you curly hair". Well this is horrifying to a kid, having bread crusts magically styling your hair without your permission. I was not a fussy eater as a child and ate most things, the only things I did not eat and still today is raw onion and the dreaded baked beans.

 

 

"If you make that face and the wind changes it will stay that way". I think most if us have heard this at some point or another in our childhood and we all listen because who wants to have their tongue sticking out forever?

How would we drink our undiluted blackcurrant for one thing!

 

"I never did that when I was your age". Yes you did you bloody liers! They did all the stuff you did and probably more because they didn't have the Internet or video games (this goes out to parents that had children from the 80's and very early 90's).

 

" I have eyes in the back of my head". This lie was not just reserved for teachers, my mum wished she had actual eyes in the back of her head. hahah! That would have stopped me from putting my hands in the fish tanks in the pet shop, I was very inquisitive as a child.