Today feels different.
I'm not sure if it's the fact that I'm still getting over a unexpected 12 hour shift a few days ago or the change in the season is very much here.
Despite the cooler temperature and unstopping rain today I wasn't feeling hungry this morning. Instead of my usual earl grey with a little milk I opted for fruit tea with my morning chill videos.
This job despite how it has turned my sleeping cycle upside down has started some changes in me that I have only just started to recognise as the days move forward. I think I am finally learning to be me again.
Before this this job I had been feeling a little bit in limbo, forever applying for jobs without anything returning to me. No communications, hardly any rejections, just silence. I had felt like I had been screaming into a void.
Before I started this job I had been suffering with a nasty case of back pain, it had gotten so bad I couldn't walk from home to the park 5 minutes away without getting excruciating pain in my lower back. The pain was so bad I was holding back tears with each step. Now not only have I shed 11 pounds but I can walk to the park, across the park and back without a single ache.
I know it sounds small but I feel like I have accomplished something huge. This is a victory that I have won and pushed back that the depression that was threatening to take hold once again.
So despite my internal whinging as I work this job I know it is helping me find the person I was and it is also helping me look after my little family even if only a little.